All Food Is Organic, You Idiots

Unless you’ve been eating Tupperware, every single person on the face of planet has been on an organic diet since birth. This whole “organic food” thing is starting to piss me off. I understand what they’re trying to say. But I wish people would just say what they mean:

THIS FOOD HASN’T BEEN TREATED WITH PESTICIDES OR FERTILIZERS. WE MIGHT HAVE POOPED ON IT, BUT THAT’S ALL.

Instead, they call it “organic”… as if to say that the other apples the rest of us are eating are somehow inorganic. Show me an inorganic apple that isn’t a decoration. Or a synthetically produced pineapple. Every single piece of food on the planet - and I mean every one of them - is organic. Even boxed food. It’s all organic. All of it. It may be processed all to hell. It may not resemble food or it may be broken down into chemical parts that you can’t pronounce.

But guess what? It’s organic.

Unless you’re eating plastic. In which case… more power to you.